Kitkats and sleep deprivation

August 7, 2012

To paraphrase a quote from a desert father; if you don’t sleep, you are more prone to being tempted by the passions.

After two days of blood pressure monitoring and twenty hours of labor, our son finally arrived in this beautifully terrible world. He was thrown on my chest and was truly the most amazing person I had ever met, other than his father.

When the nurse came back an hour later to check on him they decided to take him into the nursery to be observed because he was grunting and his nostrils were flailing. Waylon had left to drive his mom back to our house so there I was alone, without my son. Later the doctor came in and told Waylon, who had returned, and I, that our son was being admitted into the NICU because he aspirated on some amniotic fluid and developed pneumonia.

So, we waited, a couple hours became a night, which became a day, which became two days, three days, five days, and then finally on the seventh day our son got to come home. After a sleepless week, we entered into three sleepless months. Arlo developed acid reflux, which wasn’t diagnosed until his two month appointment.

While I know my story is mostly a positive one, as our son recovered and came home with us and has suffered a minimal problem, it has taken three months of lack of sleep, conversation, prayer, and about ten pounds of candy(which Waylon and I shared :)) that got me to a positive place.

For Arlo’s labor was quite traumatic. When I envisioned going into labor I did not see it the way it actually happened. When I envisioned having a newborn I certainly didn’t think it would be as hard, tiring, or as frustrating as it was. I didn’t think having a baby would give my marriage another layer to unravel.

As time has passed I realize how blessed we were to have such a supportive nursing staff and midwife. I realize how blessed I am to have such a supportive and loving husband. As time passes, the traumatic feeling of being told I was going to be induced four weeks early lessens.

However the lack of sleep has challenged my patience, kindness, grace, and understanding. I became a harsh, irritated, irrational person. This has became a time where my faith has been truly challenged.

However, as sleep returns to our house so does much of our sanity. During the first two months of our new challenge my faith was challenged by a new life and a new life circumstance. With each new day I have grown to love my son more deeply.

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