Learning to relax?

July 31, 2012

So, being a mom is really hard. It is a lot of stinking work…literally…my baby stinks a lot. At times it’s greatly rewarding, but most of the time it’s nerve wrenching work. At least at this point, Arlo only being three months, brings a whole bunch of potentially traumatic events. For example, his first and always shots, his painful acid reflux, his bowel movements, any new or unusual cries. Not to mention the whole fear based parenting I.e. SIDS, suffocation, or any potential harm that could come at any moment for any unspecified reason.

Wow. Patenting is consciously the most anxiety ridden career or life path any person chooses to live out.

So, to offset the conscious anxiety that seems to be a part of parenthood I have ventured to try and consciously relax. Many of things I have started in my very limited spare time: walking/jogging/sitting on my front steps when I am too damn exhausted to do either. That’s right, I put on my exercise clothes and go and sit on my front steps for thirty minutes 🙂 I also have started taking bathes which is usually paired with a very full glass of wine. I started this relaxing activity at my moms house two weeks ago. I made myself I take a bath and stay in the bath for at least four songs on pandora. I soon found tat after four songs my whole body didn’t react to Arlos yells as I heard them trough the bathroom door.

So tonight when Waylon got home from work I handed him the baby and got my wine and poured myself into the bath. However I have discovered that my bath is kind of dirty…as I started looking at the spots I ALMOST grabbed a towel to start cleaning.

But instead I started reflecting on my dirty bathtub while in this vulnerable state. Many of us try to treat our spiritual lives like my bathtub experience. I am at my most vulnerable state and yet I want to clean the germs and mold off the walls. Often when we are at our most vulnerable states we try to clean everything around us in an effort to make the whole situation clean. We try to research how to clean our situation by reading books, listening to sermons, asking for advice, ect. When we really need to do is surrender our dirty situations, get out of them, and come back to try and clean them.

Which is why on Saturday I will be DEEP cleaning my bathtub. But right now I am going to get out take a shower and drink some more wine.

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